Depression.....enough said

Five months....FIVE MONTHS!!!  

Where have I been for FIVE MONTHS!!!

Here, but not here.

     There, but not there.

     

          Trudging along in life, but not really living it.

Five things Depression takes away from me, that it has no claim to:

     1)     Energy

     2)     Desire

     3)     Time

     4)     Security

     5)     Peace

Dragging through the muck to get them back is slow and exhausting work.  But, eventually there comes a moment like sunlight through the storm when I feel a sparkle of my original mind.  And then, ever so slowly those moments become a whole day full of sunshine and silver lined clouds.  And then, I start to find my way out of the muck and into the random puddles with the hope that a clear shore lies ahead.  

Thanks Dad, for putting it ever so perfectly, "Oh, like a wheelbarrow, you gotta push it." 

I've been pushing even when the pushing didn't get me anywhere.  I keep pushing because I refuse to sit down in the muck beside my wheelbarrow and sink.

Thanks to everyone for words of kindness, support, love and laughter.  Thanks for helping me keep those sparks of myself alive.  

I love you all dearly.

I Wonder

I wonder if the world would be a happier place if every set of stairs had an adjoining slide.

Bill shared his dream from last night of a four story house he was remodeling.  When they ripped up the stairs there was an older spiral staircase underneath and a slide beside it.  I like this world of slides and stairs.  I'm so glad he shared and gave me the thumbs up to share with you too.

Next time you build decide to build a house I highly suggest including a slide/stair combo in your plans. 

Spring Break Agenda

What We Did for Spring Break!

 

 

Woke up happy to be together!

But sometimes needed our space.

Made cool spiraly pictures with the Spirograph.

Did some laundry!

Played at the Whittier Center Adventure Playground and had a picnic.

Sewed up a quick dress.

Celebrated Oden's 4th Birthday!

(Completely forgot to take pictures at G & G's house,

 so took some at home while we had an ice cream party)

Went to a Princess Tea Party

 

General Tom Foolery

And took a much needed nap!

Time to Dust

You know it's time to dust when....

Hey, she could have written all our names with bright colored crayon on the walls. 
I'll take dust messaging any day. 

Five Months and Model Material

Sy is five months today!

 

 

He is trying to sit up, but always falls over.  He loves to be on his tummy and will always roll from back to stomach.  We like to count down and see how long it takes him to roll over.  Sometimes it only takes to a count of three and he's done it.  He loves his brother and sister.  He will talk to them and be loud right along with them.  He will watch everything they are doing and they always get the biggest smiles out of him. 

Now that the weather is getting better, we sometimes get outside and go for walks.  We went out today and Q decided to try the sidewalk.  We don't usually use them because our little subdivision is still mostly undeveloped and there are weeds that stick out all over and whap you in the face.  Well, she wants to try it anyway.  It looked really cool with the sun going down and her in a maze of dead weeds, so I said, "Stop!  Let me take your picture."  Well, this is what she did (with no cues from me!):

 

 

I don't know where she gets it from.  When someone pulls out a camera, I usually run and hide!  She is just bursting with her own little personality.  It is so much fun to have her around.

Love to you all!
BBQOS

#1 Ducky

Oden has a very special blanket that he calls Ducky.  It was given to us when he was born by a friend at Bill's work.  It is a very typical boy baby blanket.  Blue with little blue baby booties, onesies and ducks on it.  Oden became attached to it along the way and it became his comfort object.  He takes it everywhere with him and it is the only thing he wants on him at night when he goes to bed.  I love it because it is a big blanket that still covers him up at almost 4 yrs old.  It is something I will hold onto in his memory box. 

In the spirit of preserving memories, I wanted to include this little story about just how important Mr. Ducky really is:

Whenever Oden gets hurt, even if I am standing right there next to him, he looks for Ducky first.  "Where's my ducky?  Where's my ducky?"  He will run around the entire house in pain and crying until he finds his duck.  Then, once he has ducky in arms, he comes to Mom.  His hierarchy of comfort looks like this:

#1 Duck
#2 Mom

There was one incident where he was very hurt and in pain.  I was scared because I had witnessed the accident.  I went for him to hold him and assess the damage, but he screamed at me to let him go, ran and grabbed the ducky, then he ran back to my arms.  He was crying the entire time.  I ended up laughing because if it were me, I would have wanted my mom.  He

The duck is there for us in times of crisis, times of stress and times of sleepiness.  What would we do without him.  Sadly, Mr. Duck is starting to fade into the background.  Soon he will be wrapped up in a box and forgotten.  Oden has started getting by without him more and more.  Last night he went to bed without him, didn't even ask for him, until about 1 am when he woke up from a dream.  I'm just so glad that he chose to do this in his own time and at his own pace.  I didn't have to be the mean Mom who took it away by force.  At least he will always associate happy emotions with it. 

I love you Mr. Ducky.






Brand New Ducky - Oden 3 Months



Ducky 4 Years Later (Today)



Going for a Ride with my Ducky

It's Kindergarten....

A Kindergarten teacher, not Q's, told me this the other day when I realized that Q's shirt was and had been on backwards all day:

"It's Kindergarten....ya just go with it."

I laughed.  I do have to say the more I pay attention to the little ones as they file out of the school the more you start to notice trends.  There are the ones who play hard and you can tell.  The ones whose mom's have infinite amounts of time to do their hair in intricate little dos...every day!! (I've since come to the conclusion that either they don't sleep and don't let their kids sleep, or they only have one kid).  The ones who don't fit in...those ones make me sad.  And then there are kids like my daughter.

My little Q is very much her own person, sometimes she might look like she has parents that don't care about her appearance, but I tell you honestly that we do care, she just knows what she wants.  Not saying that I let her do whatever she wants, but with clothing I figure I can give her some wiggle room.  As long as it is warm for the winter and it is appropriate and meets school code, I let her run with it.  For the most part I lay out an outfit the day before, but sometimes I don't get around to it before I'm so tired I drop.  Bill has been getting her ready in the mornings so that I can get a little extra sleep (gotta love babies!).  So on those days that I don't lay out her clothes it is always a surprise to go pick her up.  Kind of similar to biting into a chocolate from those Valentine boxes, always a surprise. 

Ooo!  Raspberry filled.....

Ooo! A bright summer dress over a sweater with two pairs of socks on each foot and rain boots! 

She is amazingly good at the layer thing, but still doesn't understand that sometimes pink doesn't go with orange.  I figure that since she has a lot of friends and multiple little voices yell, "bye Quickyn" as she hops in the car, that she is doing fine.  If she were to get teased I can so see her either crying and then never wearing it again, or shrugging it off because, in her own words, "I know and they just don't, their not as special, well almost as specialist as me, but I'm specialer!" 

Oh!  I just love my little girl and hope against hope that those terrible rotten "not specialer" kids don't ruin her beautiful ideas, and her beautiful imaginative artistic world.  Because, unfortunately, they do exist and no one can escape their visible mass, just their gravity if they have the rocket boosters already built in.  I'm sure trying to help my kids build those boosters and thanks to all you wonderful family and friends that are helping them too! 

Love you all so tremendously much!

High Five Club

Q made it into the high five club at school a little while ago. She learned all her letter names and sounds. Today she got to walk the Kindergarten hall and get high fives from all the kids. She also got to pose for a picture with the Panther!  She is so happy with her accomplishment!  Especially since we got stuck on what sound "w" makes for quite awhile.  Way to go Q!!!